Blogging is Hard???

If you have being following me for a while, you might have notice I don’t blog like every week or every month as many others do here. I am someone who created this blog to start writing better and improve my writing. Yet, it seems when I try to blog is hard to write down my ideas. I feel many times like I’m not good enough to be a blogger. That’s why this blog is call my writing journey. I get worried about how I write and what I write about and that people will criticized me for my writing and such. Luckily I didnt have to worried about being criticized for how I write here. Thank you for that. Now I’m going to write some points into how writing a blog can be difficult for me.

  1. My first reason is that is time consuming and I have to figure what you guys might enjoy reading about and what I should talk about. Is difficult I have all this ideas, yet I worried that my timing is always off.
  2. Second, I am lazy. Yes it is true. I am easily distracted and not writing on here makes me wonder how lazy I am with my writing. Is a sad true.
  3. Another reason is I worried I dont have amazing writing skills. I seeing bloggers and people that do book reviews that have perfect grammar perfect spelling and perfect intelligent words. Sometimes I get overwhelmed that I write such simple words while others write so elegant and have perfect writing skills.
  4. Lastly, motivation. I haven’t had motivation for a while. I feel being online has made me feel down at times. Seeing everyone have this opportunities and amazing lifestyle and me just at home. All I do is go to school or read books. I just feel I have all this lost motivation and I have no way of writing just for fun like I did in high school.

This are some reasons why I worried I am doing blogging wrong and that my writing will never improve. If anyone has any ideas of how to motivate myself and feel about better about my writing I would like to known in the comments. Thanks for always supporting me.

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My APD (AKA AUDITORY PROCESSING DISORDER)

Hello everyone just last year and a few months back I finally learn what my learning disability is. Auditory Processing disorder is a disorder affecting the ability to understand speech. I want to make this learning disability known to our peers and society.

Everyone knows about learning disabilities when it comes to ADHD,Dyslexia, and etc. My learning disability is a little less known. I knows theres many blogs out there about APD but some of them aren’t updated anymore or they knew about their disability since they were young. In my case I always knew something was wrong with me. I had IEP in school and was in the “research program”. It wasn’t till I enter college when i first learn I had a learning disability and I didn’t think much about it. Even thought i was in the disability program i barely use their services till this past year and a half. I know for me personally i hate asking for help and try to figure most things on my own. I am writing this for anyone who has APD and is struggling with college like I did.

Not many people understand that lectures is the worse things for people with APD since most are lectures based in teachers speaking and most times they don’t write the notes down. I wish more teachers would do different types of lectures for different types of learning disabilities not just doing lectures that are them speaking and having only the important things on the board or on a powerpoint. The reasons why learning disabilities are hard for many students especially college students is because of memory. Our memory is different from most people who do not have learning disabilities and we take longer to learn things.

Like i mention in my opening statement in this blog, I have APD. APD makes my type of learning disability be sensitive to loud noise. We aren’t the best types of people to take to groups settings where everyone is talking at once and there is loud music. It actually make us want to go to quieter places instead. Another thing about my particular disability is how we mix words and sounds up. That makes it hard to understand to most people who want us to listen to them and follow directions. Don’t get mad at people with APD, instead breathe and repeat what you said to us. We are smart just in a different way. We can succeed in anything, even school. It might take us longer to get there then most of our peers, but we have an advantage that most don’t. You probably asking what the advantage is? Well even thought we take longer to study, do homework, or to listen more we learn to take time to understand things and never are rushing to finish something.

As an APD learning disability I am taking longer to finish college and go for my bachelor degree, but thats okay cause everyday I’m learning and getting stronger. I hope this help some people understand people with Auditory Processing Disorder better and understand learning disabilities rocks and no matter what we kicking butt one step at a time.

Thanks for reading(:

Happy Late 2019 Update☆

I haven’t being writing on here it so long. So many things have happened since Iast posted. I want to start writing on here again. I know I being gone for so long. I being having a fight with myself and my writing. I love to write and to read other people post. I miss all of you guys. I finally finish community college thank God. I will start uni in the fall and finally be taking only classes that have to do with my major. Tell me in the comments what you guys would want me to write about. I don’t do a year tbr of 2019 cause I read books whenever I feel like it. I being reading a lot of books. I need to do in summer break. So hopefully reading and writing will make my summer less boring. I am going to start searching for a job. I have so much ideas in my head but don’t know what to write here about. I decided to update in case someone here misses me lolz. I do want to talk about the reboot of fruits basket. I also want to talk about me being part of the gaming community on YouTube and how YouTube has being going downhill for years. I will write again soon. I miss writing and improving myself in this journey of writing in my life. Thanks for reading ♡♡❤

❤Lalathon❤

If you dont know who books and lala is or what this is please go watch her video here and then come back and read this blog post (: https://youtu.be/_r-zljfD64A

I am excited to join and read Lala favorites books I pick four out of more than a 100 books she has in her list ^_^

I am reading:

Hurricane Child : A middle grade book

Young adult books :

A Quiet Kind of Thunder

Emmy & Oliver

Dress Codes for Small Towns

I pick this four books cause I like the description or I had it on my tbr for a while (:

Sorry I haven’t post here much.

Thanks for reading as always (:

▪FRIENDSHIP ANXIETY▪

Ineed to write. I need to talk to someone about my feelings about friendships and the anxiety,jealousy, and trust issues it brings. I know this isn’t something you expect to see me write about. But this is blog is call my writing journey after all. So I needed somewhere to tell my feelings. Even if no one reads is still helps me more than medicine or anything else.

Hello my name is Raven and I will not write my real name for privacy issues. I have a long term concussion with friends coming in and out of my life . I live in a fantasy more than reality so o won’t get hurt. I always taught love and friendships were the best things in the world.

Books,movies,anime,cartoons, and etc always talk about friendship and how it is magical and the best thing in the world. I love the idea of if but someone who has lost more people then kept people in my life I have a hard time believing in this two words.

Why do friendships break and why do I get jealous when my suppose best friend or a friend I consider family meets someone new and brings them to our friendship circle? That’s how I see friendship anxiety. I feel like a new person will ruin the friendship and I will have to find someone new once again. Is like having a small group of friends isn’t enough for some people. I never like big crowds. I’m am introvert and quiet girl and I have feelings I kept inside me for years. I have always believe that being in a small group or crowd is always better than a big or large crowd or group.

Okay i have trust issues with people I start getting closer to and want to hurt myself some times cause I start telling them how I feel and my dreams and such but when I lose them I regret it all the time. How could someone I taught friendships could suddenly make life better. It can for a short time till they leave you. Not all friendships stick together I learn that since I was in Elementary school. Movies and anime and other media can make it seem magical but in reality it’s worse then people think. I already have people issues and trust issues as it is.

This is just a rant blog about how I’m feeling about this. I know it seems I’m selfish and such things but I really want a strong friendship and love and I feel reality makes things complicated.

I don’t tell my friends about this cause they might think I’m over thinking or something but I want to know if someone out there feels how I feel.

I live in a fantasy life over reality life most times cause is where I feel like myself and I don’t have to worry of hurt betrayal or left behind.

Friendships are good and bad.

Let’s talk about Bookstgram

*not my picture

I join Instagram as part of the book community and let’s just say I didn’t like being part of this bookstgram community. I didn’t meant WordPress I meant Instagram. I had a bad experience with Instagram. I love WordPress❤😍 in case anyone had a misunderstoodment. I LOVE WORDPRESS BUT NOT BOOKSTGRAMMER. man i feel I just had to make a disclaimer or something o.o

WOAH WOAH! HOLD ON BEFORE YOU GET MAD AT ME AND ATTACK ME AND SUCH. LET ME EXPLAIN MYSELF.

I was Abbyraebooks on there from may to mid early July. That’s a very short time I know, but i felt I didn’t have the books most people did and that I didn’t read more books that others did. I felt isolated and started having anxiety. Here’s my reasons why I’m never joining bookstgram ever again.

  1. One: Competition. You probably asking me whay competition. Well who has the prettiest pictures the most likes and the best looking picture ever. This is a bad habit. I prefer blogging or goodrrads over a website where all you do is share pictures of books. No thanks don’t like that.
  2. Second : Followers. I barely had over 135 something followers and I think I knew why I didn’t have the best pictures or the books they like. I just don’t like that about Instagram at all honestly.
  3. The pressure. Did you ever feel if you don’t post you will lose followers ? I do. I felt it all the time. I was happy when I gain followers then lost the same I gain is like a gambling game.
  4. The people who don’t follow you back. Okay this may seem like I’m upset or I want everyone I follow to follow me. But isn’t being part of a book community being friends with one another? No? I guess I didn’t get the memo. I understand why the people with thousandth of followers won’t follow me but a small bookstgrammers I don’t understand.
  5. Lastly. The anxiety. Posting is something that many feel is obligated of them. Like if we have to feel obligated or feel like if we don’t post enough we aren’t enough then why even try. People who have small followers would understand the anxiety. Anxiety on social media is no joke.

This are the main reasons why bookstgram isn’t for me. Honestly I feel this might be the worst platform for book lovers. All you do is post picture honestly.

SORRY IF I RUIN IT FOR YOU. I JUST WANTED TO TELL MY STORY AND WHAT I DON’T LIKE ABOUT THIS BOOKSTGRAM COMMUNITY. I STILL USE INSTAGRAM AS A PRIVATE ACCOUNT FOR FRIENDS AND FAMILY. BUT I DON’T FEEL I CAN BE HAPPY BEING PART OF THE #BOOKSTAGRAM COMMUNITY. SORRY …

Paperback or Hardcovers

I prefer Paperbacks over Hardcovers. I know is shocking as Hardcovers are more popular. To me it has to do with how it feels vs how heavy it is.

I posted a picture of two same books that are different but the same story inside. I understand that paperback books have a better change of getting dirty and of getting older first.

Yet, to me paperbacks have something special that hardcovers don’t and that is the pictures of the book covers. Hardcovers picture of the book can be taken away while in paperback books it can’t. And also helps that I like having pretty books covers and I like how smooth but soft paperbacks are to me.

Other reason why paperbacks is better to me is the size. Is smaller and I can carry it to places easier. Usually hardcover books carry more weight and I don’t like having extra weight when I don’t need it. The size solves mg problems and I don’t feel like it be hard to read a book. It’s actually more comfortable to me if I have a paperback as it easier to me to read a book that way and I feel more relax as well.

Good for you if you love hardcover books but I will prefer Paperbacks always.

Last thing I forgot to mention their usually cheaper too which a win win in my opinion. I love saving money whenever I can.

Thanks for reading (: